OFW story: hopes, dreams outweigh fears

After reading Randy David?s column ?Love in the time of migration? (Philippine Daily Inquirer, 6/14/08), I couldn?t help but admit that my life at this point fits into the scenario he painted. In fact, I was watching a delayed telecast of a nightly news program of a TV station in the Philippines when I received two text messages from my wife. I looked at my watch to check the time?it was half past 1 a.m. from where the message came. So, I thought, my wife was still awake.

I texted back with my own message, which I ended with ?Good night.? After a few minutes, I got another message from her. She bade me ?Good night? in turn, but I could sense some despair in her message.

The following morning, in the office, I sent her and my kids?as my usual way of keeping in touch with them?a message. She replied, and her messages this time clearly exposed her desolation.

I empathize with her. Barely eight months have passed since I left her and our four kids to work here in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, tucking in my suitcase a few pictures of them to remind me of our hopes and dreams. It would be my first time to be away from my family that long. Before we decided to take this ?big leap? that could make or break our lives, we spent countless hours in prayers, asking for God?s guidance.

Our story is not uncommon. Millions of Filipinos have gone abroad, leaving their country, families and loved ones in pursuit of a better life. The stories of overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) don?t necessarily yield to happy endings: philandering husbands, unfaithful wives, errant children longing to feel the warmth of the love of absent parents have become ordinary fare. Yet, these stories are not enough to stop a large number of Filipinos from leaving their families to work abroad.

The lack of opportunities back home is what pushes people like me to leave home for greener pastures; our hopes and dreams of giving our families a better future outweigh our fears of the risks we might have to face in strange lands.

Going back to my wife?s pained text messages, I would always reply to them with words of assurance, though I know that these would never offer enough comfort under our present circumstances. But better that the words are said than allow yourself to wallow in fear.

What you think and what you do is what you will become; that?s life?s predisposition. If we think life has been very cruel to us, it is not so much because such is our destiny but because we have predisposed ourselves to those ?cruelties? by our thoughts and actions. Professor David is right: It has been very easy to measure the economic benefits of overseas work. But it is doubtful if one can ever quantify what the Filipino family has given up in terms of love, or what it is doing to recover it.

I just wish though to find ways to recover what I have given up in my pursuit of a decent life for my family. But until I see a better option than going abroad, I?ll just have to keep my hopes and dreams alive.

source:Philippine Daily InquirerFirst Posted 00:13:00 06/24/2008

Filed Under: Overseas Employment, Social Issues, Family

Why We Love to Travel

Anyone can travel. And it’s our (okay biased) opinion that everyone should travel. Travel has a way of speaking to you, opening your eyes and changing you from the inside out. You can use travel to relax, to see the world, to connect with others who share your passion or to just have adventure, all the while creating a pastiche of experiences and memories to cherish as you grow older.

You might be traveling to visit family or friends, for work, because you’re relocating, volunteering, sight-seeing or to simply relax on a beach somewhere to get away from it all. These things are specific to you and your own personal vision for your life. But there is a broader question: As a human, why do we travel in the first place? Traveling for business or a family event is much more easily understood. But the more complex question is why are some content to spend their entire lives within 50 miles of where they were born and others relentlessly bow to a Wanderlust that can never be sated? These people—these travelers—are easily recognized. It’s a glow in their eyes when they’re discussing their latest trip, it’s a devil-may-care attitude when something goes awry or an ability to sustain countless hours in unbearable conditions simply to discover a tiny new village in the jungles of Peru.

Travel is incredibly fulfilling. There is a common thread of human experience that comes with it and makes you want to delve beyond the simple questions. How are we different? How are we the same? What is daily life like for a shopkeeper in Laos? Then you want to know about the art and the history and see what experiences helped shape them as a people. For some, this is sight-seeing, for others, it’s simply part of “being there.”

By virtue of your coming to AirTreks website and reading this you have demonstrated a desire to answer these questions for yourself. For those afflicted with the travel bug, the question is not simply “when is my next trip?” but also “why can’t I stop?”

source: http://www.airtreks.com/ready/why-we-love-to-travel/

Why We Love Gadgets

Electronic gadgets grow more and more popular all the time. Ranging from the practical to the wacky, technology has let us reach a point where almost only cost and out own imaginations dictate what can and can’t be created.

Electronic gadgets grow more and more popular all the time. Ranging from the practical to the wacky, technology has let us reach a point where almost only cost and out own imaginations dictate what can and can’t be created.

The reasons we love electronic gizmos and novelty gadgets are numerous. For many, electronic items make our lives easier, allowing us to do things we never used to be able to do. Even if we would never usually have had interest in doing what these gadgets allow us to do, the simple fact we can now do them is often enough to elicit our attention and ensure our interest.

On the other hand, the novelty gadgets often simply allow us a great deal of fun. Whether we wish to pretend to be a spy (or even actually be one) or whether we simply want something to help us pass the time in a novel and amusing way, such novelty items are so vast in scope, and often so affordable, that many choose to populate their lives with such items.

Electronic gadgets ultimately continue to amaze and awe us simply due to Moore’s Law. The amount we can achieve with computerised and electronic objects continues to double consistently and therefore the scope with which we are able to create items continues to advance dramatically. This serves to offer us items that will consistently confound us.

Finally, these gadgets and gizmos, simply serve to occupy the mind, offering something that is often fun and actually educational at the same time. They are a perfect escape route from the mundane, giving pleasure as well as often instilling awe. Not only will those receiving such items be thankful, but everyone around them will no doubt want a go, meaning that whilst they are perfect to occupy people on their own, they are also the perfect way to bond a group too.

ArticleSource: ArticlesAlley.com

http://www.articlesalley.com/article.detail.php/299164/160/Fashion-Style/Shopping-and-Product-Reviews/21/Why_We_Love_Gadgets

Heroism

Julie M. Aurelio
Philippine Daily Inquirer
http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20090929-227426/Judge-on-Jet-Ski-saves-100-teener-dies-after-rescuing-baby-30-others

MANILA, Philippines—For the people of Sta. Monica in Novaliches, this Quezon City judge on a Jet Ski who plucked dozens of residents from swirling flood waters on Saturday is “Superman.”

“I was so shocked by the situation when I heard that around 150 houses were already flooded,” said Judge Ralph Lee of Regional Trial Court Branch 83.

“I heard that so many families were already stranded on their rooftops because water from the Tullahan River was already overflowing,” Lee, 49, told the Inquirer.

Lee drove from his Fairview home for the stricken community 30 minutes away with his personal water craft, life vests and two rubber boats he used on weekend wakeboarding sorties and mobilized a rescue effort that saved 100 lives.

There were other super heroes, like Muelmar Magallanes, a powerful swimmer who braved rampaging floods to save more than 30 people, but ended up sacrificing his life in a last trip to rescue a baby girl who was being swept away on a styrofoam box.

Family members and people whom Magallanes saved hailed on Monday the 18-year-old construction worker a hero, as his body lay in a coffin at a makeshift evacuation center near their destroyed riverside village in Quezon City.

“I am going to be forever grateful to Muelmar. He gave his life for my baby. I will never forget his sacrifice,” said Menchie Peñalosa, the mother of the 6-month-old girl whom he carried to safety before being swept away himself.

From 4 p.m. to midnight, Judge Lee combed the neighborhood 10 feet under water for trapped residents, each time loading at least three people on his machine and taking them to a bakery on high ground at the Palmera 4 subdivision, where his rescue effort was centered.

He personally took 32 people, mostly women and children, to safety.

“It probably took me around 20 plus trips to do that,” Judge Lee said.

“In the evening, the residents were able to help me rescue more people when the rubber boats came … We had no light except a flashlight provided by a homeowner,” he added.

With his son Ram and other homeowners, the effort brought some 100 people to safer ground.

Hero in his own right

Judge Lee recalled that at one point, the current was so strong that the Jet Ski flipped over, sending him and his passengers into the water.

“Luckily, I was able to get on my feet and turn it over again. Sometimes debris and trash would jam the Jet Ski and it would stop functioning,” Lee said, adding that he had to clean it out several times.

“They applauded later. One even called me ‘Superman,’” he said. “I was so carried away by the very sad situation. I could have probably saved more if the Jet Ski’s propeller didn’t get clogged, but I’m happy that I’ve done something.”

Mayor Feliciano Belmonte Jr. called the judge “a hero in his own right.”

“He really sprang into action and got the residents moving to save their neighbors,” said the Quezon City mayor.

Trapped on rooftops

Magallanes was at home in Barangay Bagong Silangan on Saturday with his family when the heaviest rains in more than 40 years hit Metro Manila.

At first the family, long used to heavy rains, paid little attention to the storm.

But Magallanes and his father quickly decided to evacuate the family once they realized the river 800 meters away had burst its banks.

With the help of an older brother, Magallanes tied a string around his waist and attached it one-by-one to his three younger siblings, whom he took to higher ground. Then he came back for his parents.

But Magallanes, a strong swimmer, decided to go back for neighbors trapped on rooftops.

He ended up making many trips, and eventually saved more than 30 people from drowning, witnesses and survivors said.

One last rescue

Tired and shivering, Magallanes was back on higher ground with his family when he heard Peñalosa screaming as she and her baby were being swept away on the styrofoam box they were using in an attempt to cross the swift currents.

He dived back in after the mother and daughter, who were already a few meters away and bobbing precariously among the debris floating on the brown water.

“I didn’t know that the current was so strong. In an instant, I was under water. We were going to die,” Peñalosa said, her eyes welling with tears and voice choking with emotion.

“Then this man came from nowhere and grabbed us. He took us to where the other neighbors were, and then he was gone,” Peñalosa said.

She and other witnesses said an exhausted Magallanes was simply washed away amid the torrent of water.

Incredibly brave

Neighbors found his body on Sunday, along with 28 others who perished in the flooding.

Standing next to his coffin, Magallanes’ parents paid tribute to their son.

“He always had a good heart,” said his father, Samuel.

His mother, Maria Luz, wept as she described her son as incredibly brave.

“He saved so many people, but ended up not being able to save himself.” With a report from Agence France-Presse

15 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People

While I’ve had a lot of practice dealing with negativity, it is something I find myself having to actively work on. When I’m caught off guard and end up resorting to a defensive position, the result rarely turns out well.

The point is, we are humans after all, and we have emotions and egos. However, by keeping our egos in-check and inserting emotional intelligence, we’ll not only be doing a favor for our health and mental space, but we’ll also have intercepted a situation that would have gone bad, unnecessarily.

Here are some tips for dealing with a difficult person or negative message:

1. Forgive

What would the Dali Lama do if he was in the situation? He would most likely forgive. Remember that at our very core, we are good, but our judgment becomes clouded and we may say hurtful things. Ask yourself, “What is it about this situation or person that I can seek to understand and forgive?“

2. Wait it Out

Sometimes I feel compelled to instantly send an email defending myself. I’ve learned that emotionally charged emails never get us the result we want; they only add oil to the fire. What is helpful is inserting time to allow ourselves to cool off. You can write the emotionally charged email to the person, just don’t send it off. Wait until you’ve cooled off before responding, if you choose to respond at all.

3. “Does it really matter if I am right?“

Sometimes we respond with the intention of defending the side we took a position on. If you find yourself arguing for the sake of being right, ask “Does it matter if I am right?” If yes, then ask “Why do I need to be right? What will I gain?“

4. Don’t Respond

Many times when a person initiates a negative message or difficult attitude, they are trying to trigger a response from you. When we react, we are actually giving them what they want. Let’s stop the cycle of negative snowballing and sell them short on what they’re looking for; don’t bother responding.

5. Stop Talking About It

When you have a problem or a conflict in your life, don’t you find that people just love talking about it? We end up repeating the story to anyone who’ll listen. We express how much we hate the situation or person. What we fail to recognize in these moments is that the more we talk about something, the more of that thing we’ll notice.

Example, the more we talk about how much we dislike a person, the more hate we will feel towards them and the more we’ll notice things about them that we dislike. Stop giving it energy, stop thinking about it, and stop talking about it. Do your best to not repeat the story to others.

6. Be In Their Shoes

As cliché as this may sound, we tend to forget that we become blind-sided in the situation. Try putting yourself in their position and consider how you may have hurt their feelings. This understanding will give you a new perspective on becoming rational again, and may help you develop compassion for the other person.

7. Look for the Lessons

No situation is ever lost if we can take away from it some lessons that will help us grow and become a better person. Regardless of how negative a scenario may appear, there is always a hidden gift in the form of a lesson. Find the lesson(s).

8. Choose to Eliminate Negative People In Your Life

Negative people can be a source of energy drain. And deeply unhappy people will want to bring you down emotionally, so that they are not down there alone. Be aware of this. Unless you have a lot of time on your hands and do not mind the energy drain, I recommend that you cut them off from your life.

Cut them out by avoiding interactions with them as much as possible. Remember that you have the choice to commit to being surrounded by people who have the qualities you admire: optimistic, positive, peaceful and encouraging people. As Kathy Sierra said, “Bearound the change you want to see in the world.”

9. Become the Observer

When we practice becoming the observer of our feelings, our thoughts and the situation, we separate ourselves away from the emotions. Instead of identifying with the emotions and letting them consume us, we observe them with clarity and detachment. When you find yourself identifying with emotions and thoughts, bring your focus on your breathe.

10. Go for a Run

… or a swim, or some other workout. Physical exercise can help to release the negative and excess energy in us. Use exercise as a tool to clear your mind and release built up negative energy.

11. Worst Case Scenario

Ask yourself two questions,

“If I do not respond, what is the worst thing that can result from it?“

“If I do respond, what is the worst thing that can result from it?“

Answering these questions often adds perspectives to the situation, and you’ll realize that nothing good will come out of reacting. Your energy will be wasted, and your inner space disturbed.

12. Avoid Heated Discussions

When we’re emotionally charged, we are so much in our heads that we argue out of an impulse to be right, to defend ourselves, for the sake of our egos. Rationality and resolution can rarely arise out of these discussions. If a discussion is necessary, wait until everyone has cooled off before diving into one.

13. Most Important

List out things in your life most important to you. Then ask yourself, “Will a reaction to this person contribute to the things that matter most to me?“

14. Pour Honey

This doesn’t always work, but sometimes catches people off guard when they’re trying to “Pour Poison” on you. Compliment the other person for something they did well, tell them you’ve learned something new through interacting with them, and maybe offer to become friends. Remember to be genuine. You might have to dig deep to find something that you appreciate about this person.

15. Express It

Take out some scrap paper and dump all the random and negative thoughts out of you by writing freely without editing. Continue to do so until you have nothing else to say. Now, roll the paper up into a ball, close your eyes and visualize that all the negative energy is now inside that paper ball. Toss the paper ball in the trash. Let it go!

Dealing with Difficult People

Can you recall the last time you had to deal with a negative or difficult person? Or the last time someone said something with the intention of hurting you? How did you handle it? What was the result? What can you do in the future to get through these situations with peace and grace?No matter where we go, we will face people who are negative, people who oppose our ideas, people who piss us off or people who simply do not like us. There are 6.4 billion people out there and conflict is a fact of life. This fact isn’t the cause of conflict but it is the trigger to our emotions and our emotions are what drive us back to our most basic survival instinct; react and attack back to defend ourselves.
In these instinctual moments, we may lose track of our higher selves and become the human animal with an urge to protect ourselves when attacked. This too is natural. However, we are the only animal blessed with intelligence and having the ability to control our responses. So how can we do that?
I regularly get asked “How do you deal with the negative comments about your articles? They are brutal. I don’t think I could handle them.” My answer is simple, “I don’t let it bother me to begin with.” It wasn’t always this simple, and took me some time before overcoming this natural urgency to protect myself and attack back.
I know it’s not easy, if it was easy, there wouldn’t be difficult or negative people to begin with.
Why Bother Controlling Our Responses?
1. Hurting Ourselves
One of my favorite sayings is “Holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” The only person we hurt is ourselves. When we react to negativity, we are disturbing our inner space and mentally creating pain within ourselves.
2. It’s Not About You, It’s About Them
I’ve learned that when people initiate negativity, it is a reflection of their inner state expressed externally and you just happen to be in front of that expression. It’s not personal, so why do we take it personally? In short: Because our ego likes problems and conflict. People are often so bored and unhappy with their own lives that they want to take others down with them.
There have been many times when a random person has left a purposefully hurtful comment on TSN, and regularly checked back to see if anyone else responded to their comment, waiting eagerly to respond with more negativity.
3. Battle of the Ego
When we respond impulsively, it is a natural and honest response. However, is it the smart thing to do? What can be resolved by doing so? The answer: Nothing. It does however feed our ego’s need for conflict.
Have you noticed that when we fight back, it feels really satisfying in our heads? But it doesn’t feel very good in our soul? Our stomach becomes tight, and we start having violent thoughts?
When we do respond irrationally, it turns the conversation from a one-sided negative expression into a battle of two egos. It becomes an unnecessary and unproductive battle for Who is Right?
4. Anger Feeds Anger. Negativity Feeds Negativity.
Rarely can any good come out of reacting against someone who is in a negative state. It will only trigger anger and an additional reactive response from that person. If we do respond impulsively, we’ll have invested energy in the defending of ourselves and we’ll feel more psychologically compelled to defend ourselves going forward.
Have you noticed that the angrier our thoughts become, the angrier we become? It’s a negative downward spiral.
5. Waste of Energy
Where attention goes, energy flows. What we focus on tends to expand itself. Since we can only focus on one thing at a time, energy spent on negativity is energy that could have been spent on our personal wellbeing.
6. Negativity Spreads
I’ve found that once I allow negativity in one area of my life, it starts to subtly bleed into other areas as well. When we are in a negative state or holding a grudge against someone, we don’t feel very good. We carry that energy with us as we go about our day. When we don’t feel very good, we lose sight of clarity and may react unconsciously to matters in other areas of our lives, unnecessarily.
7. Freedom of Speech
People are as entitled to their opinions as you are. Allow them to express how they feel and let it be. Remember that it’s all relative and a matter of perspective. What we consider positive can be perceived by another as negative. When we react, it becomes me-versus-you, who is right?
Some people may have a less than eloquent way of expressing themselves – it may even be offensive, but they are still entitled to do so. They have the right to express their own opinions and we have the right and will power to choose our responses. We can choose peace or we can choose conflict.

ANTICIPATING PROBLEMS

ANTICIPATING PROBLEMS
For the most part, our students are wonderful young people and our experience with them is -- if we do a good job -- positive and rewarding. Everyone, however, has occasional problems, and a few issues can eat up enomrous amounts of time and energy. Here are some hints for damage control.

General principles:

Maintain good documentation of things such as attendance, work submitted, copies of communications with students.
Make your expectations clear and follow your own policies.
Create a paper trail on potential problems. If you see a problem coming, inform your chair of the situation, so your position, concerns, and actions are on the record.
Remain calm and professional, even in the face of provocation.
Inform yourself on academic legal issues.
Maintain proper boundaries with students, avoid contacts and activities more appropriate for friends than for student and teacher.
Potential Problem Areas:

Arguments about grades.  Students will complain about their grades. On the one hand, they will tell  you deserve a certain grade because they did whatever they did. Or you will hear that if they don't get a certain grade they will lose their scholarship, etc. There are a couple of things you can do  to limit these problems. The first is to have clear criteria for grades. This is where having rubrics can help, since you may use them to explain to students why they gog the grade they got. Secondly, you need a good policy for dealing with grade challenges (TΦ101 likes this one because it forces the student to write something before talking to you about grades).  Thirdly, you need to find a way to make the discussion about grades objective rather than personal.  For example, the student will say, "I was disappointed with my grade, I thought I did better." Your reply might be: "I was disappointed as well, since I also thought you would do better. Let's talk about what went wrong for you, so we can help you do better in the future."  The goal is to indicate that you and the student are both on the same side, which is wanting the student to do better.
Problems with lateness, decorum, etc.  Discipline problems in college classes are not new (Augustine left Carthage because of rowdy students), but some instructors are reporting that the problems are getting worse.  Athletes, for example, can be a problem, but their coaches (who don't want them getting low grades) can often straighten them out.  Although many of us are anarchists by nature, it may be necessary to set and keep stricter standards.  Depending on your institution's culture, you may want to build these into your syllabus.  Neil Williams has developed some principles for what he calls "The Rules of Engagement" covering things such as wearing baseball hats in class.
Disrespectful students who are disruptive in class. TΦ101 has seen quite a few of these cases. The worst cases had some of these characteristics:  the faculty member was yourthful in appearance; female; petite; and inexperienced or a graduate assistant. The student was older (junior or senior); male; tall; and taking a course outside of major area as a requirement.  Why students take it into their head to be rude to someone in authority over them is a mystery, but they do it. TΦ101 has heard that Darby Lewis, author of A Portrait of the Student as a Young Wolf: Motivating Undergraduates, talks about this in some of her presentations, where she says that it can all be understood in terms of who is alpha dog in the pack.   At any rate, you have a right to working conditions where you are not being harassed, and you don't have to put up with this kind of behavior. Sometimes the Student Life division can help; most schools have a code of student conduct that prevents inappropriate behavior and, if necessary, the student can be removed from your class. While you may not be used to dealing with these situations, the Judicial Affairs officer in your Student Life division deals with much more serious cases on a daily basis. Your disrespectful student is probably no stranger to this office, and will not want to see them again.
Students on downward spiral. Occasionally you will see students, especially first year students, who stop doing assignments and coming to class. Often it is a spiral that starts with too many distractions, and then moves to a place where students are so far behind that they are afraid to come to class. If possible, call the student in for a meeting and try to refer the student to appropriate resources: e.g., seeing an assistant dean; study skills counseling;  dropping some courses to lighten load; talking to faculty members; getting tutoring.
Weird and strange behavior. Remember Virginia Tech.  If students live by themselves off campus, their faculty members are the only ones who see them on a regular basis. If you think the student is in trouble, call appropriate officials at your school.
Students with personal problems. Often students will talk to you about personal problems.  Always keep a box of tissues in your office, you'll probably need it. The fact that the student trusts you enough to talk to you is a positive sign. You aren't supposed to be a therapist, but you should listen sympathetically, and, if necessary, refer the student for help.  Last time you checked, you were neither a priest nor a lawyer, so you also need to understand how to handle confidentiality.  Usually the school's counseling center will be happy to talk to you about the student.
Resources:

For a discussion of the different types of problem students whom one is like to meet, see Wilbert J. McKeachie,  Teaching Tips: Strategies, Research, and Theory for College and University Teachers.  10th ed. New York: Houghtin Miflin, 1999. 235 ff.

Angela Provitera McGlynn has a chapter length discussion on dealing with disruptive students and disruptive behavior, with lots of tips for how to handle various problems.  Teaching Today's College Students, Madison: Atwood Publishing (2007).

For a set of policies on classroom behavior and decorum see Williams, Neil F., "The Rules of Engagement : Socializing College Students for the New Century," The National Teaching & Learning Forum Newsletter. 17:1. December 2007.